Ten days, I'm back.

Huh. That was a lot shorter than I thought.

But hmm. Update on me. A lot has happened in the past ten days.
I met Jonathan.

He's really cool. He's got this charm about him that I just can't seem to resist. And he's got this strange... magnetic pull. Whenever he's closer I just feel this body rush. Sitting next to me on the bus. The slight touch of hand when he's passing me a cigarette. The way I fist bump everyone goodbye, and he pulls me in to hug me. Hmmmmrrrfffm. He frustrates me.

Life for me has actually been pretty good. I've been smoking a lot of weed again so that's been fun. Also I've been getting my grades up AND my artwork is coming back a little. I'm gaining my sense of "me" back, and I'm still smoking weed ;3

I have a lot of self confidennce for some reason. I like the way I look :3

Until next time!

Dear potential readers.

In life, there are times in which you throw your responsibilities over your shoulder because you think you need a break. You think you do.
Do me a favor, slap yourself in the face for thinking so selfishly. Every "stress" or "responsibility" you will come across, is only to make your life better or worse. If not, then it's somebody else's problem, not yours.

Don't get lazy. Don't think you can take a break whenever you want. Sorry to tell you, but life doesn't get any easier than it is right now. We always look at the past as a simpler time, right? And that's exactly right. Your problems will only build, so just enjoy what you have right now.


I decided to skip school today. Why? Well, I don't know. I felt lazy. Unmotivated. I didn't FEEL like it. So I decided to stay home and play Rust all day. My plan was going okay until I heard someone come home, calling out Gav and I's name. I ran into my closet and hid. I hid in there for about 2 hours. Pretty pathetic right? I watched Texas Massacre because I'm a fucking weirdo. Well anyway, mom calls and asks where I am. I tell her I'm at school. Lie. Lie lie lie. That's all I ever do. Lie. God I hate myself. Why am I such a bad person? I get it from my dad, I bet. It's alright. I can change if I really try. I gotta dig deep. Because there's a devil inside me. And it's hurting everyone around me.

I'm pretty sure I'm dead. Parents are PISSED.

I'll be gone for a while. Hope to talk to some of you soon.

Sometimes in life, you isolate yourself to the outside world and you don't realize it.

And sometimes you have no choice.

But during this time, think about good and positive things. It's the only way you'll survive.





So, Isaiah's dating Shatres. That's alright. I've learned a lot from this whole Isaiah experience. I liked him a lot, even started to fall in love with the guy. But you know, shit happens, and sometimes it doesn't go your way. It sucks, it really does. I feel like complete shit right now. But you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get off this computer, I'm going to go into my living room and watch How I Met Your Mother and it's going to be fucking amazing. And I'm going to be happy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is-
everything happens for a reason. Isaiah wasn't the one for me. And this is life's way of pushing me towards an even BETTER guy than Isaiah. Because you know what? The 'one' for me will love me unconditionally, and wouldn't give me up for the world. I won't offer myself any less. From now on, I'm going to live my life and stop worrying about love and relationships. It's all I want out of this world, but I want to find my soulmate. And the only way to do that, is to wait until life crosses our paths.

I can't wait to finally meet you, whoever you are.



where ever you are.

~

Each lesson has a story.
Each story has a lesson.